Knowing where I have come from, I can’t help but feel a little like I am still strange and somewhat of an outsider when talking with other women. Some say that this is part of the socialization I missed out on skipping the experiences of growing up female (and may play a role), but is more about that I still have a secret I don’t necessarily wish to expose. The physicality of having different parts makes me feel that I am betraying those of my own kind. It happens all the time going through normal life. When I am in the bathroom, when I am walking alone in a city, etc. I fear that something is going to happen to cause me to be exposed or someone is going to blurt out my secret at any time. (When a family member miss-genders me, I get the same vibes…) Truth is, that while having the extra parts I shouldn’t have, I am vulnerable in so many different scenarios.
