I can easily relate to this. Ive long used certain songs as a way to channel my inner Trans identity. A few of my favs are these. The first one is based on an actual Trans woman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XppP-VgqDg&t=136s

Another thats kind of an oldie is this one. Listen to the lyrics and try to convince me its not about a CD/Trans woman. "did you say that anybody can, be exactly what you wanna, man"

https://www.reddit.com/r/TransLater/new/

There are many about love and longing, that Ive now come to see as the longing to become my inner, woman. This is one example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vL6gIRp2SU

"Sometimes life gets in the way. But there one thing that wont change, I know Ive tried".

The earlier verse about, picking up the phone, so scared of who might be answering. Has a local significance, as a phone interview was how the fromer, Tiffany Club of Boston, used to screan initial apllicants. Ive got some more to share sometime. Cheers :)